Forgiveness for my childhood abuser? And why I invite him to Thanksgiving now

Am I re-victimizing myself each time I see my childhood abuser? Geez, I hope not!

I spent a lot of my childhood hurting, sad, confused, angry, and alone.

A large part of the reasons why I felt these things were due to a situation largely outside of my control. It shouldn’t hurt to be a child. And it certainly shouldn’t hurt to be loved. But for me those things were often linked.

My step-father was emotionally, physically, financially, and verbally abusive to me for years, and eventually he started abusing my younger brother and my mother as well. My two baby sisters, now in college, are his birth kids and over a decade younger than me. Thankfully they are not abused, and it is very difficult for them to see their dad in such a way- they just see him as ‘controlling’.

They still have to split time between our mom and him- who thankfully are now divorced.

On Thanksgivings they used to have to leave my house at 3:00 to go outside and get in his car for their meal- if they come out at 3:01 the police are called or verbal threats are hurled through…